Let’s be honest, most of us ring in the New Year with a great sounding resolution that we know we’ll never keep. Whether it is cooking healthier meals, getting organized, spending more time with family, it doesn’t really matter because we hang onto our resolutions just long enough to satisfy that “fresh start” urge. As with all resolutions, then we end up throwing in the towel once the novelty wears off. But what if you could make a change this year that may actually bring happiness and fulfillment to your future years instead of just to the first few weeks of January? While this is a serious decision, it is one that many secretly desire. 

If you’ve been contemplating the idea of divorcing your spouse, but keep coming up with new excuses to put it off because you are afraid of the messy repercussions, then this is the year you may need to let go and move on. Facing the fears that are holding you back from filing can be extremely scary. However, it is the first step of shedding a layer of who you are now so that you can start becoming who will be once you have finalized the proceedings.  And with all change, that version of you will be a much happier, more carefree, and yet stronger person than you probably never knew existed. 

There is absolutely no better time than the start of a brand new year to cast off the lines that have been tying you down and fearlessly sail into a more fulfilling life. So if you have weighed the pros and cons cautiously, have prepared carefully and have decided to take the opportunity for another chance at bliss this New Year, here are five reasons why you can officially feel good about starting over and put all that anxiety in the past!

  1. Re-discovering yourself on your own is liberating!

If the thought of being alone has been so paralyzing to you over the years that it has kept you from forging ahead with your life sans-spouse, then you have been letting fear control your future. It is time to change.  As anyone who has been in an unhappy relationship knows, it is often much lonelier to be in bed next to someone who does not “get” you anymore (or doesn’t want to) than it is to be snuggled between the sheets alone. Being alone while in a relationship is not a satisfying way to navigate life. 

So when you do decide to move forward with a divorce and suddenly find yourself single for the first time in years, don’t panic. Fend off the lonesome blues by cultivating new interests, friends and hobbies that you neglected to pursue during marriage. You will unquestionably discover the piece of yourself that has been missing for a very long time. 

  1. The longer you stay, the more you may pay. 

Deciding whether or not to divorce your spouse is undoubtedly a weighty decision that deserves very careful thought and consideration. That being said, you do not need to spend too much time mulling over the pro/con list and waste away precious, vital years of your life in which you could be happily single. Not to mention, the more time you spend with your spouse, the more money is accrued in your marital accounts (such as a 401 (k) or pension) and the more you risk forking over when it comes time to settle. 

So while you should not rush the decision-making process when it comes to ending your marriage, try to remember that the more time you spend in self-reflection, the more money you may be putting on the line. 

  1. Removing toxic people from your life opens new, amazing doors.

Staying in a marriage that is unsupportive, unfulfilling, abusive or just plain unhappy is bound to give you self-respect issues. After a while you begin to believe that the lack of passion in your life is inevitable and that you are not worthy of affectionate love. But you’re wrong! You deserve to be with a partner who is enthusiastic, uplifting, and mindful of all your needs as a lover and a friend.  

When you have concluded that it’s time to leave your “better half” and choose to instead surround yourself with those who respect and love you, you will feel lighter, hopeful, and ready for all of the new adventures that lie ahead (including fresh romance!). 

  1. Starting over after marriage forces you to re-evaluate everything.

As most people who have successfully divorced will tell you, once you have endured the trials and tribulations of court proceedings to end your marriage, you tend to feel like you can handle anything life throws your way. Suddenly you will have a brand new outlook on life that will inspire you to stand up for yourself more often and take action to change the things in life that don’t make you happy. As the saying goes, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, and that goes double for divorce.    

  1. With age and experience comes a whole new world of pleasure. 

If you and your spouse had issues that just couldn’t seem to be worked out (I’m talking everything from lack of passion, to disagreements regarding fantasies, to not having sex at all), then, you may be in store for a post-divorce treat. That includes travel and food choices so get your head out of the gutter. It is called being aligned with your passions. 

If you are like most people, you probably got married during a time in your life when you were still learning what pleased you at that specific time in your life. Perhaps you were a little unsure of yourself back then and thought the chemistry between you and your partner would grow and your life path would sync. But don’t worry! Now that you are older and (hopefully) more in touch with your needs, you don’t have to feel guilty or waste time with being unhappy! The world is full of satisfying and exciting adventures just waiting to be experienced….This could be your year. After all, it is your life and it is definitely not a dress rehearsal. ENJOY!