James R., Montpelier, VT:

“I have been dating this incredible and sexy woman for five years. I am madly in love with her and cannot imagine my life without her. I have previously been married. She is 28 years old and I am 56 years old. She has never been married. When we first started dating, I informed her that I did not want children. She said that she agreed, was a career woman and did not want children. We have been discussing marriage and she recently told me that she changed her mind and decided that she wants to have children. She gave me an ultimatum and said she is moving on if I will not marry her and have at least one child. I do not want to have a child but I do not want to lose her. What do I do? “

The Love Lawyer:

Did you ask if she will settle for a puppy? It would be extremely selfish for you to try to change her mind in order to satisfy your needs. If she stayed with you, she would eventually detest you no matter how much she loved you. Likewise, if you do marry her and have a child and it is not what you really want, you will resent her and the child. You really need to do some soul searching and determine if you possibly want to attend your child’s high school graduation in Depends. If not, you must let her go.